The Jai Never Die, Nature Cherishes Them
by rain stormraider
Summary: Deviating from the point where Padme finally confesses her love for Anakin, this takes it to a different end, making the assumption that Padme has another destiny to follow...
1. Destiny

**The Jai Never Die Nature Cherishes Them**

**Disclaimer:** Own Nothing.

**Summary:** There exists an element of the Mysteries in everything we know and sometimes in people that exist only in the shadows of Time and Space.

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_In the shadows I shall creep and be ready to forever seek, all that I can gain from your sorrows and your pain. I am the plague that will rise upon the wind and never abate. I am the seed that will bring the storm that will never subside, the ripple that will herald eternal change. I am all that and everything because above all else, I am fate, a destiny that never wavers, for stars shall burn through infinity and worlds die in flash of light but I shall remain._ **–Padme Naberrie Amidala to The Jedi Council at the time of Revelation. **

"Don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying-" at that point her vocal cords silenced themselves suddenly and she blacked out.

Nothing scared him as much as the sight of her falling, and quickly as if something had possessed him, he reached out through the Force and steadied her. She did not wake, until after several moments had passed. She opened her eyes to his beloved face, and everything had changed. What a few instants in time could do to a destiny, to your own fate.

"Are you all right?" he asked, nudging her gently through the Force. She straightened up and turned to give him a weak smile as she felt the tears fill her eyes. "Don't cry, we'll find a way out of this," he said, smiling at her, trying to make light of a deadly situation.

We won't Anakin, we never will, she thought to herself, but turned to him and said, "you're probably right, everything will be all right."

And then it was over, just as it had begun, it ended. Everything had changed, and nothing had changed. Her mind nudged her back to the present as the transport began to move out from the darkness and into the light of the arena. Geonosis, her mind whispered to her, the time nexus. But the voice was silenced quickly as her mind took over, logical computations, calculating points in time over and over again. And as she got off, she reached into her belt and took out the pin, nothing had changed, her mind spoke, but everything changes, her heart replied. The words had died unsaid, the truth never to be revealed. She'd still make it out of here alive, and so she fought on, one avenue of time after another, until her mind was silenced by the present. Mechanically, she went about her work, this was it, this was all there was to it.

The execution had begun. She climbed up the cylindrical tower, felt her skin tear at the Nexu's claws, the sound of her scream, her silent tears reverberated through her soul like no pain ever did. And there he came, her knight in shining armour, saving her as always. There was no fighting the choices that you alone made and as she held tight to him she surrendered to the forces of destiny. And so they came, the droids and the Jedi, the battle had been joined. And when it all seemed to be lost, surrounded on all sides, salvation, in the form of clones came to free the un-dead.

It all ended so fast and it all went by in a daze, only the gust of desert wind blowing at her face reminded her of what had come to pass. Except for a few words, and one desperate kiss, everything had been the same, but still everything had changed. She watched detached as she fell from the transport, only his emotions raging through the Force reminded her of her loss and his gain. Yoda felt his anger, as only Yoda could, but even he would not know.

Oh how blind they were, how lost, and the one chosen to save them, was the one who would destroy them all. But in the end it came down to only one thing, one time nexus on which pivoted the events of futures upon futures until the edge of doom could not see their fates. She lay on the sand letting the waves of despair wash over her before the future assailed her senses and moved her forward again. It seemed pointless, Dooku would escape anyway, but the future had already been written and she'd altered too much already, all this must come to pass. And she held him tight, armless but unchanged, she'd seen this before but now everything would change.

And now she found her footing and now she steadied herself. Obi-wan watched her suspiciously, oh how little he knew, she thought to herself and because she knew the past and the future had changed, she clung to Anakin even more dearly, holding him even tighter. Yoda stared at her, all pretences dropped, and only wild amazement coloured his face. He ignored the two wayward Jedi, let go of his grim expression and continued to stare at her. The others sensed it and turned to face the great Jedi with confusion and pain in their eyes, they were badly hurt but even they could sense Master Yoda's fascination. The diminutive Jedi took a step toward her and she removed herself from Anakin's embrace and backed away from all of them.

"Most intriguing, most intriguing, Senator, an aura of death, I fear surrounds you. Are you hiding something perhaps?" he asked unnecessarily, by now they all knew she wasn't saying something. Anakin's expression of pain contorted to anger but one touch of her hand to his face silenced his fury and he stood passive, as well as he could, with one lost limb. The medics came and she sighed with relief as they took Obi-Wan and Anakin away. Yoda followed them and turned back only to gaze at her for an instant, his forehead wrinkled in concentration. But before he left and before she lost her nerve she took a deep breath and called him back, "Master Yoda, I have one last request-" Force, she shouldn't have phrased it like that but now she had no choice so she continued in a rush, "I would like my Jedi protector to accompany me to Naboo, where I have to settle some matters before I return to the Senate."

"Evidently, Senator Amidala, his mission is not yet complete, your safety is still a concern, Padawan Skywalker will escort you to Naboo, and return with you as well, Senator."

She breathed a sigh of relief as he walked away but her senses became alert when he hesitated and turned to face her again, "Senator Amidala, I have one request: when you return to Coruscant, appear before the Jedi Council will you, there are some matters that we must discuss with you, the leader of the opposition in the Senate."

She hesitated for only an instant as a time force took over her and she swayed on her feet but before Yoda could reach out through the Force, she steadied herself and replied, "yes certainly, I would be honoured," and with a curt nod she turned away and walked out.


	2. Fate

_I remember being taught the tenets, I remember the lessons, I remember the mistakes, I remember everything. But the only thing that ignites these memories is the rage I buried deep within me. The Jedi never explained to me the meaning of life or how it was first born. They only assumed where they should have known. –_**Ulic Qel-Droma to Vima Sunrider**

When she was alone on her ship, far away from everyone else, locked into the coordinates of the docking station with just a long wait in front of her till she could see Anakin again, she turned away from her two trusty companions and secluded herself in her compartment. The proximity klaxon would tell her when she had to jump out of hyperspace but until then she was alone. Alone to dwell on what had happen and what could have been but never would. The tears came and went only when all the light had been snatched away from her eyes and she lay there broken with no salvation and no protection, only bittersweet memories of futures that never would be.

She hadn't told anyone, hid it deep inside but in that instant, when she said those words as she looked into Anakin's eyes all had been revealed to her. If she had said she loved him, she would have been his undoing. Padme still remembered the smooth metallic touch of Vader's kiss, the darkness of his robes and the blackness of his heart. She alone had created that monster and she alone could destroy him. Her way was perfect, clinical, surgical, nipped in the bud, if he never knew how she felt, he would never succumb, and she would never end up dehumanizing him.

There never would be an empire and there never would be an Emperor with his fiery lapdog. The Jedi would never become extinct and their children would never save her future or those of any others. Their children, her heart cried, there would be no children, no future, nothing to remember the past by, she had changed it all. The Jedi, oh how little they saw of the truth, they just clutched at stray threads hoping these would reveal the future but only she understood the gravity of all this. She alone could comprehend all that had come to pass, that was her gift and that was her curse. She felt rage boiling through her veins, the pain never stopped, the mind never stopped, it just kept on working, calculating the trajectories of time but that all began and ended with just one moment, one word, one kiss, one emotion, one planet, Geonosis.

If Yoda ever asked her or ever during his own meditations pondered on the ancestry of the Jedi, she could tell him more than all the transcripts in the fabled Jedi Libraries ever could. It was so ironic, so strange that that jealously guarded Order was known better by an outsider than all the Masters in the Jedi Council.

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_Time, time, time, it's all that I don't have. Time is all that I need: to write of recorded time, to build more edifices to time, to change the stars and redirect fate. Time is all that is denied to me. – _**Padme Naberrie Amidala in the Jai Journals at the time of her first Passing.**

It all faded away into the now and time was catching up, she heard the klaxon blaring, warning her of her arrival out of hyperspace and onto her destination. She worked at her emotions, her mind shields raised against all Force-sensitive beings. She had to be prepared and until she was ready, she couldn't relay what she had seen, felt, or discovered to any living soul, and so she began. The long-drawn process of destroying all emotions, losing all feeling was harsh and her silent witnesses watched her face as she battled with her emotions and led the ship into the docking bay of the huge Dreadnaught. As she descended, she made her way to the medical facilities and sat down to watch the long process of the healing of Anakin with Obi-Wan present in another bacta tank. No one came to bother her, no one came to intrude her peace, and only her two droids stood by her side, weak protectors at best.

She settled in for a long wait and was awoken a few hours later by Artoo nudging her shoulder. Anakin and Obi-Wan were being taken to the recuperating chambers. She followed the repulsor beds to the chambers to take up her post. As she entered the chambers, she hesitated as others turned to look at her. Many Jedi had been injured and had endured much pain, and the faithful old Jedi, Yoda stood by them, watching her. Her thoughts screamed at her to leave, but she could not, she was brave but a fool for sure. Yet no matter how much her heart wanted her to bolt, she could not. She was a member of the Senate, a battle-hardened Queen and a fighter and saviour, bringing peace to a galaxy in turmoil, she still had her dignity and no future, no destiny, no fate, no curse could snatch that away from her. In that instant she became Amidala again, and sauntered into the chambers regally, nodding respectfully towards the other Jedi standing by their fallen comrades and turned back to her charges.

Yoda was wise enough to know that if he approached her now with some other insightful comments about her fate or emotional health, she would burn him crisp with her laser eyes and so he stayed away. That did not mean that he did not gaze at her with curiosity at regular intervals but always turned back to his charges when he found himself staring at her face than at her back. A couple of eternities later when all the adrenaline pumping through her veins had slowed to a numbing pace and the poison from the Nexu's claws had begun to seep into her blood, she fainted and entered the realm that she wished with all her might was just a dream vista.

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_Oh what fools we mortals be, when darkness is upon us and the light shies away into the shadows. Who has the courage to dare chart such courses? Who has the strength to look fear in the eye and resist the darkness rising? --_**Master Arca Jeth to his Padawans.**

She awoke to find herself stretched on a bed between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Ironic, she thought to herself, but was jolted out of her reverie by the entrance of that well-meaning green menace. At this moment even though she had never felt cruel or nasty towards anyone before, she wished she could hurl a laser bolt at him, but she knew it was just as well, he could easily deflect that. She sighed in defeat, he would know, no doubt that something serious was going on with her, Yoda had this all-knowing look about him and in a second he would open his mouth and ask her the dreaded question she had deftly avoided the last few times he had been able to corner her. Not that she could call that cornering, he had other more pressing concerns, and had no time to question one strange, inexplicable occurrence. But what he actually did, threw her for a loop, he put his tiny hand on her forehead and gently stroked it, "Senator, you scared us all, you should learn to be more careful and not head into danger unheeded. The Jedi will not always be there to protect you."

Don't I know it, she thought to herself but replied, "Yes, Master Yoda. I will be more careful in the future." He stared at her silently and then replied, "Tell me Senator Amidala, is there a future in these brutal times. I thought you of all beings would know that nothing is a certainty." Was this some kind of test, she thought and sat up on her elbows to stare at him before replying, "Life is the only certainty, Master Jedi, the only certainty. I breathe, I hurt, I pain, that means I live, is there any more that can be done to prove that it is all real and not some surreal fantasy." He looked at her in amazement before turning to face Anakin's bed then he turned back to stare at Obi-Wan across her bed before meeting her eyes again.

She had changed so rapidly from the young regal Senator whose charisma had won her many allies and many enemies, into a young woman made old and bitter before her years, her eyes just didn't look the same. Then he said the words that she would never forget, the words that seared her heart and were her only comfort for the rest of her living days, "The Force is our guide, the only surety is death, but life makes it alright. If not that then Senator, I know not what else does. What must be must be, what dreams may come are dreams you see, believe in the future that is all that can be asked of you. I am old, Senator, wise yet not as wise as you I doubt. On Geonosis, I saw something that I cannot let go of, I saw death in your eyes Senator, I have never seen that before in anyone else's, not like this. No, do not bother to make excuses, I ask for no explanations, it is not my place nor is it time for such things, but no matter what you believe, know this Senator, you will never suffer alone. Sound harsh it might but the truth it is, the worlds are cruel and life just a whim but eternity beckons and welcomes all sins. So if tomorrow never comes, know this, that time will not stop but yesterdays shall return to those lost souls and you."

Padme was silent for so long with her eyes closed that he thought she had gone into a trance, much later when he would think back on this he would know, that she was committing herself to her future, giving up forever and remembering that Yoda had been there when no one else was.


	3. Desire

_When Darkness comes knocking at the door, the sign of a good, polite being is to welcome it in. Only then do you realise what opposites are but its already too late, there are only windows now to let it out and the fight is always from within. –_**Tott Doneetta to Nomi Sunrider**

The lights were bright, blaring violently into her eyes, pricking her senses awake and soon the world was a wash of sound and light, fire and air, she heard it all and his face came into focus so quickly. It was as if he alone was her centre, her beloved constant and as her mind caught up, it jarred at that thought, there were no constants now only reality and only pain. She returned his gentle smile and braced herself as he launched himself at her, new prosthetic limb and all. She let him embrace her, hold her tight against his chest, her back aching painfully at the phantom wound that would leave visible scars. Whoever said Coruscant left its scent on you had probably never been on Geonosis.

Master Yoda was there and so was Obi-Wan, but her mind halted that train of thought as well, since when had she started calling the ancient Jedi a Master? Since he had earned her respect and admiration, her heart replied. This bothered her, bothered her a lot that her heart and her mind were at such odds, dealing in such different ways. Force, you fodder, the time nexus remember, it does something to average beings, you not being any exception to the rule, wait, if there were really rules to such things? But as was always the case someone interrupted her ruminations, "Well Milady, I am glad to see you awake," Obi-wan spoke up with a gentle smile as Anakin slowly released her. She sighed deeply, feeling Anakin's presence fade from around her and faced the Jedi with a fake smile, "Thank you, Master Kenobi. Your concern makes the wounds heal even faster."

She felt a spark of jealously light up in Anakin's force signature and then recede quickly behind mind-shields. No one else noticed, for their bond was very strong, invisible to him albeit, but very strong. He would never know of course, for she would never tell him. She wasn't relishing the moment when she would have to destroy it, it would be very painful, but atleast he would never know. He would never know, the words echoed through her soul, silently and sadly, another avenue of time destroyed, another future shattered.

She was getting really sick of making all the choices, deciding all the fates, but she was strong, trained since birth to lie and connive, deceive and lead, this was just another political manoeuvre, another victory for the self-righteous, so who was she to complain? She could do this, sacrifices were easy, it was only the aftermath that really tested her limits of endurance, but so what? Another challenge, another claim to courage, she was the leader of the opposition in the Senate, one of the most powerful voices in the galaxy and she would live through this. But a little voice that she wished she could just erase spoke quietly, what about your heart, you are the one who loses in the end, no one else.

The others must have noticed the expression on her face, they took their leave from her silently, but they didn't go too far. Anakin stayed outside the door keeping vigil and Obi-Wan stood talking to him, unknown to them she could see and hear them quite clearly, and what she watched made her sigh in relief. "I did not mention it in front of Master Yoda, but for a moment there, I thought I had lost you, Anakin." When Anakin motioned to protest, Obi-Wan waved his hand, and spoke, "wait Anakin let me finish. I don't want to preach, I don't want this to be another lesson to be learnt, it can't be. We've been through so much, too much together, I trust you, even if I don't show it. I know how you feel about her, I can see that she feels something for you too, but I have to warn you Anakin. She is out of your reach; I fear that what she feels for you is nothing beyond affection. I know you don't want to hear that, neither would I but I have to get this burden off me. Out there in that arena when we were so close to the end, I thought of you, you are like a son to me, albeit overgrown, too reckless and too compassionate for your own good. I love you Anakin, you are always first in my thoughts but you have to know that duty comes above everything else.

"The first maxim you learn is that Jedi exist only to serve, but when emotions colour our response, service takes a backseat. There is so much turmoil inside of you, I hardly recognize you anymore, but maybe I'm just getting sentimental, but I think not. Anakin, never forget that I am there for you, never forget that no matter what you can turn to me, just promise me one thing that you'll talk to me.

"Only when your heart and mind our in harmony, only then can you be truly whole, only then can you be in control. Now complete your mission, we will speak when you return to Coruscant, take care of yourself." Anakin stared after him open mouthed but quickly came to a formal stance when he realized that I had overheard the entire conversation. I slipped slowly off the bed and walked to one of the huge transparasteel windows in which the stars were suspended over my head. He came in and stood beside me, I spoke more to the window than him, "there was a boy I once knew, he said to me that he wanted to be the first to see them all, I wonder where he is now. If he ever did as he promised me, I hope he hasn't given up yet, but I guess the task can be daunting. If I could meet him once more, I'd say to him, that one can see a galaxy in a grain of sand, the heavens in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of the hand and live an eternity in an hour."

When I turned to face him, I saw the tears blinking in his eyes, I wished I could brush them away, but there was no time for that. "I'm sorry I eavesdropped, I couldn't help myself, but I'm tired now, tomorrow we leave for Naboo I will see you then, Anakin, and we must talk." He just stared, watching my every move, a hunter waiting for the prey to slip, but I disappointed him, there would be no catch today. He bowed deeply, gave me one of his dark, shadowed looks and disappeared in a swarm of billowing black. The image of his departure made me shudder with foreboding, and unexpectedly strengthened my resolve; there was no way now that I would not turn away from him. There was no way I was going to let Vader be born or the Sith regain their lost ground...


	4. Promises

**The Jai Never Die Nature Cherishes Them**

**Disclaimer:** Own Nothing.

**Summary:** There exists an element of the Mysteries in everything we know and sometimes in people that exist only in the shadows of Time and Space.

_You want to test the theory? Go ahead; see if the saber responds to thy touch. I can see from where I stand that you are not the one for it. None of us are, the one who is hasn't yet been conceived, the Darksaber would know. Go ahead; I want to watch you fail. _**– Tulak Hord to his Apprentice**

It was cold and dark, there was silence all around, but she knew what she came for. The darkness whispered right then and it drew her in; she turned to face him, tall and arrogant, cruel and proud, full of hatred and seething with rage, Exar Kun. She reached into her robes, but the force lightning he threw at her was too fast, and as the electricity shot through her body she knew there was only one way to end this. She had to give into it, to succumb to this temptation and gathering her energies, she focused them into a mind-shield and reached out into the Force to grasp the saber that was the bone of contention between them, their reason for rivalry. It would end this in the way only it could and as she summoned it to her, she prayed to the Force that she was the Chosen One or else there would be no tomorrow.

He realised too late what she had done, even a Jedi could be as devious as a Sith, he had truly underestimated the girl. But all was not lost, he had heard the seductive whispers too, he knew they called out only for him; the saber would be his alone. These thoughts were wiped forever from his mind as he watched in bewilderment as she brought the saber to life, its light invisible to Force-weak beings that could be so easily deceived by it. But to the last Sith lord before her, it shown in the darkness, like a black hole elongated and stretched, it swallowed all light around it and radiated the empty black vacuum.

The Darksaber, his mind whispered as he moved to attack, he hesitated when she responded in kind, and then only did thoughts of defeat enter his mind. She could do this, she could defeat him with that saber in her hands, and he saw only one way out; he fought on. The end came too soon, that saber cut his blood red one in half, deathly accurate and before all could be lost, he used all the lessons learnt before to turn himself to ashes as she gutted him with the saber. He seeped into the stones, he had learnt how to disappear, learnt it in the harshest way, when he had undergone a painful humiliation at the hands of many accursed Jedi Masters. Now she would not be able to get him but this relief was a double-edged sword, now he would never be whole. He sensed her feral grin and then her sigh of relief as she relaxed from her battle stance. He cursed her in the thousand ways he knew but watched in fear as she raised herself again and grinned widely before slashing the saber through its resting place, destroying all other Sith artefacts taking away their magic and their secrets and strode out into the darkness.

The stars twinkled deceptively as she turned to face the ruins of the Masassi Temple and spoke to the wind, "with this ring I thee wed and carry your burdens throughout the nether worlds." She knew, she knew, his voice screamed silently, she would have been a worthy apprentice. But she sensed his words and spoke, "how little you know of us, no Jedi nor Sith shall ever again use this saber, it belongs only to me, don't try anything Kun, you are doomed for Eternity, you chose this fate. The Darksaber belongs only to the Jai, so that they may correct your mistakes. Be safe my dear lord, for an Eternity is a little too long to survive unknown." His mind screamed, his soul lay tortured but there was no hope any more.

She turned her back on him and proceeded to her ship, she watched him on her screen, his temple, his place and watched from the skies as he and the world he was doomed to haunt, faded away. The Darksaber she hid under her clothes, the previous one she discarded and as she settled into a trance, the Force opened up to her in the most astonishing way. It fed her the secrets of the stars, the planets, the beginning of everything, it showed her the futures and the pasts as well as the places in between, it showed her everything in its entirety and that is when she knew. The Darksaber had to be hid, no Sith must ever lay its greedy eyes on it and so she vowed to herself.

Exar Kun was her first and last lover, after him there were none, and him she would remember well. He sired two children on her, twins, one a boy and the other a girl. The son had hair that shone dark brown under eyes the colour of the darkest nights and the girl had hair of sun-kissed gold and eyes of the clearest blue skies. That was what he gave to her and that was what he took from her.

When Ulic had died, she had thought that she would not have anyone to turn to; her mother was still so far away. But now with his gift, she had everything. If the Jedi were to ever find out about her children all would be lost and so she did what she knew she had to. Her daughter was hidden on a planet of great beauty, wisdom and serenity, home to many refugees, a planet whose history would be ancient but it would always remain outside the realm of remembrance, the planet had a beautiful name and to it she gave the Darksaber. When her daughter was old enough, she hoped the Darksaber would find its way to the Jedi where it would be kept safely until the Force awoke the Jai again. The planet was Naboo.

Her son she took with her, he was weak and still had to be weaned and she left for the farthest reaches of space, where only the most desolate of worlds existed. One such was a great desert bowl, twin suns scorching its surface but there was water when you could squeeze it from the air, and there was life when you could nurture it carefully.

The necklace remained with her till the end. It was the reminder that once someone had cared, once someone had been there. But when the Force called out to her, it spoke of promises yet to keep, dreams yet to live and she returned to her birthplace, she left her son on Tatooine, when he had made a life for himself. There she hid the necklace for the next heir to find, it was now up to the Force to find a new keeper. It would take many more years, longer than she had in this galaxy, but someday, the Chosen One would come and so would the Salvation promised since before the Force was ever wielded.

She died there on her birth-planet, alone and unknown, only the return of the Darksaber to the Jedi Temple proved that she had become one with the Force. She was famous in her own time, a valorous warrior who fought with her heart as well as with her destiny, but to those who never knew her, she was Vima Sunrider, one of many great Jedi, whose whispers died on the wind until the Salvation became a reality, not some wild prophecy linked only to the Darksaber.

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_The Dark Side, the forbidden fruit, the path on which nothing comes but failure. That is what we are told and learn by rote but it is only an illusion, only a warning against the greater evil, human nature._ **–Vima Sunrider in her Hidden Journals**

She had to get out of here as soon as possible; spending too much time with Anakin was detrimental to her emotional health. How was it possible that with one look, he was able to make her give up on all that she had set out to achieve? Maybe that was why he turned, the fact that she had corrupted him, made him weak, easy prey for the Sith. With that promise, she resolved her heart, she was doing this for him, she was doing this for the Jedi, and she was doing this for the Republic. If she could forget her heart for just a while, if she could remember what all this was for when she confronted him, maybe there would be a future for all of them, maybe she too would live long enough to see peace.

Yes, but first, she had to get off this ship soon or her mind-shields were going to go to the deepest hells of Naboo, then nothing would stop the truth from coming out. Already Anakin was getting suspicious; twice he'd tried to coax her into telling him what was on her mind. It was even harder to think up excuses to keep him at bay when he was right there in front of her, staring at her with those all-seeing eyes. At moments like these, she was so glad she was a politician, not everyone could keep a sabacc face when faced with such temptation. They were all alone, she wanted to give into this so badly, just one last kiss, her heart pleaded, what harm could it be, but her mind, where Amidala lay at all times, would not be swayed.

It seemed odd and downright rude to eat her meals alone in her cabin, while he navigated their way to Naboo, but she had to be ready to face him, and now was definitely not the time. All that remained was staring out the transparasteel windows to the stars, maybe they held all the answers, but the heart, where Padme resided, sighed in resignation, there was only one way out.


	5. Reality

**The Jai Never Die Nature Cherishes Them**

**Disclaimer:** Own Nothing.

**Summary:** There exists an element of the Mysteries in everything we know and sometimes in people that exist only in the shadows of Time and Space.

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Potions and magic, the ancient arts of alchemy can only be the foundation but you need the pillars of ambition, strength, emotion and motivation on which to put a roof. When the ceiling crumbles and the pillars fall, you still have the foundations that will keep you strong. **–Darth Bane in the Illuminated Manuscripts**

Padme Naberrie Amidala was the most recognized figure on Naboo, from the water cities of Gungan to the plains of the Lake Country. Not even Palpatine, the Chancellor of the Republic was as well known on his home-planet as she was. So it came as a rather pleasant surprise that there were very few people to greet her on their return. He stood by her, watching in silence as two handmaidens approached the Senator and led them through to her private residence.

She had been uncharacteristically cold and silent towards him, she had him second-guessing his every move, working his way backwards through time trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Before leaving Tatooine, he'd been making great progress with her, she'd been so understanding, so willing to believe him, so ready to accept him. And now he felt as if he was back where he'd started, stumbling his way through renewed acquaintances. She'd completely ignored him on the ship, consciously ignoring him and this hurt more than the severed limb or the attachment operation of the prosthetic, it hurt more than holding his dying mother in his arms. She'd out rightly rejected him and he didn't know why and didn't know how to even begin fix whatever had gone wrong between them.

He'd worked so hard to get even a mere affectionate glance from her and now she'd jumped out from the ship as soon as the ramp had been lowered as if she'd just been released from Kessel. He did not understand anything anymore and it was hard just to go through the motions without knowing what they were for.

It was late in the evening; the stars were beginning to fill up the sky and he was standing at the balcony looking down below at the Nubian city spread out before him. It was then that he felt it, something different in her signature. In truth all beings contained something of the Force in them, even thick-skinned Hutts, and even though Padme had always seemed so reserved even in her Force signature, he'd noticed some spikes in it, miniscule but not non-existent. The spikes in her Force signature had happened while they had been entering the arena at Geonosis and then when Master Yoda had come to their rescue at the hangar, though at the time he had been more concerned about having lost an appendage. Things had somehow changed between them, he'd seen how she'd freed herself from the Nexu, the resilience and determination she'd shown while fighting the droids and then the almost prescient abilities she'd unveiled while facing such tremendous odds as they had faced at Geonosis. Before that everything had seemed to be going well, even his mother's death had not stopped the Force from nudging at the growing affection that was building in her heart for him. Now, it seemed he was back in Coruscant, laying eyes on her for the first time, _"You'll always be the little boy I knew on Tatooine"._

She looked as beautiful as ever but he noticed the shadows under her eyes and her tired gait as she made her way to stand beside him. There was something going on under the surface that he couldn't even begin to understand, and her face took on a foreboding expression as she looked out at the city. They stood in silence for some time, just being rather than feeling and he held his breath as he noticed her move to speak to him.

"I hope the arm is healing well Anakin, we'll be leaving soon for Coruscant, I know how much you love being here, enjoy it. I have some one who will be coming over to visit, no cause for alarm, if you want to head out into the city, you're more than welcome to, if not, I'll see you in the morning."

As she turned to leave, he spoke, "I had hoped we'd have some time together before we'd have to return to our duties, when you're done with your guest may be we could sit and talk, like we did before."

She turned back to face him, and even as he watched her, he noticed that she drew even further into herself than she had seemed to before. Her reply was quiet and solemn as she said, "In this time you have been a great friend to me Anakin, proving again and again that I can trust you and rely on you to do what is necessary. But we are no longer being held hostage to the orders of the Council, and though there is some abiding affection in my heart for you, it will never be more than that of a grateful friend who owes her life to you. I will be late for my meeting; I will see you in the morning."

"Then this is goodbye?" was his despondent reply.

"No, Anakin. How can it be goodbye, we'll see each other in Coruscant, now that war is upon us, the Jedi Council will be most active in the Senate. I'm sure we will meet, and you must come and visit me as well. Anakin, we will always remain friends; what we have between us is that bond it will never fade. You told me once that the Jedi do know love, I know that you will too."

He watched her walk away, silenced by her reply and he realised that her words would be all he'd have now. How had things changed so fast, he'd thought he'd been standing on solid ground with her? She had only friendship to offer, but he'd take her up on that if that were all she was willing to give him. His heart cried out, he still needed her, and maybe the need would someday die down but he doubted that, this was a chapter of his life he'd have to work very hard to forget, losing two of the people he loved so dearly, to death and to fate. At that moment he truly hated what he had become, a shadow of a Jedi who couldn't save his mother and who couldn't make the woman he loved love him.

The dark whispers arose again, compelling him to use the gift they offered to get what he wanted, but just like those whispers had not helped him save his mother, he now began to doubt their promises. If he couldn't keep people from dying, he couldn't make them love him. If he took the dark path again, how many more would he have to slay to get his way. It was his mother's voice that reached him through the void. _"Life goes on Ani, even if the people we love don't. You were meant to be a Jedi, my son, don't let anything get in the way."_

Somewhere inside him, Master Jinn's voice joined hers _"Keep your promise Anakin, keep others from dying senseless deaths, atone for your mistakes my son, and then you will be all that you were meant to be…."_

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True destiny is not in the stars, in ancient bloodlines nor in myths that turn to prophecies. Destiny is in the soul, where the infinitesimal decisions of fate are made and everything is balanced over the edge of a precipice awaiting the tide of the future to assail it. **–Nomi Sunrider in her Jedi Journals**

She had lived a secret life, her talents and passions hidden away from the rest. In a few months she would marry a man she had no love for and sire sons on him. In a few days her forbidden love would be snuffed out by the tides of destiny and there was nothing she could do. So she laboured in secret, pouring her heart and soul into a creation that cried witchcraft and if anyone ever found out, she would be hunted down and destroyed. Utilizing abilities learnt from her father and dreams formed from an inspired imagination, she built it on her own. At the time of their parting, with a broken heart she bid her lover farewell by placing it in his care, telling him that as long as it burnt brightly so would their love.

The jewel she had created burnt with an eternal blue flame, a thirst never to be quenched, a symbol remembered and cherished when everything else was lost. But like all other precious possessions before it, marauders snatched it away from his cold dead hands and the flame dimmed but lived on. It disappeared from memory, space and time, hidden in the dusty coffers of a wealthy old pirate until another came to rob him. The blue flawless jewel as large as a babe's fist aroused the attention of the thief; it would surely fetch a good price and it did. But the price was too high, the blue crystal was always clouded by an aura of blood, as everyone who ever possessed it died a bloody, savage death or so the legends that went with it said.

A Sith Lord from the Hidden Worlds found the gem much later, it attracted him in a peculiar way. The gem was so cold but burnt fiery blue, it was pure yet it had a dark centre, it was large but seemed so small and fragile. Using the secret methods of the Jedi Crafters, he built a saber, a work of art that was as beautiful as it was deadly. He built the hilt and the mechanism solely for the jewel's use, gaining inspiration from the crystal itself, which had begun to burn brightly again when it came into contact with the Sith Lord. The gem held a great power inside it, stronger than any barriers of the physical realm or the whims of fate and destiny, the source of all its energy was love, true, pure, all-seeing and all-encompassing love.

Even in the creation of the saber there was balance and union, the ancient Jedi arts combined with the cunning of the Sith, but the ultimate deception was when the saber was used for the first time. It had been created with such intimate care and detail, such perfection as had never before been seen, by a delicate hand, excellent craftsmanship and infinite patience. Yet it turned nova on its first activation and reduced the Sith Lord to ash and dust. Those who discovered it while excavating the site called it Darksaber because of its infamous inception and since then it had never been ignited again.

Legends and myths grew up around it, they proclaimed that until a Sith Lord worthy of its ownership came along, it would never respond to any stimuli and so it didn't. Many came to its resting place and tried their luck, each eager to prove to be the true heir to the Sith heritage but all failed and so it rested, guarded by those who understood it not for anything other than a deadly flower waiting to bloom and rain destruction and ruin upon all. And so it receded again into the past, another myth that became nothing more than gossip and rumours.


	6. Dreams

**The Jai Never Die Nature Cherishes Them**

**Disclaimer:** Own Nothing.

**Summary:** There exists an element of the Mysteries in everything we know and sometimes in people that exist only in the shadows of Time and Space.

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**_The Sith traverse paths the Jedi fear to tread._ –Exar Kun to the Masassi**

"He will learn to deal with the darkness soon enough, he is no longer your concern. The Covenant awaits, Milady." She watched him still, standing out there on the balcony, she wondered what he could be watching, specially since he seemed to be not looking outward at all but inside himself instead. She turned to face the acolyte sent to her by the mysterious Covenant. The representative had been there when she'd arrived from Geonosis, it seemed like the Covenant had already known where she'd be going. They were sitting in one of the meeting rooms, shielded from being overhead by a strange device the acolyte had brought with her. Even the arrangements regarding this little meeting had been confusing to her. Ever since the war had officially begun and she had recovered, Padme had been getting many well-wishers and consultants wanting to speak with her. She had halted all incomms because she had needed time, how this one woman could have bypassed all protocols was beyond her.

The acolyte was very mysterious, cloaked in a dark hooded robe, but Padme caught glimpses of bantha-hide covered legs through the openings of the robe. The only features visible were the eyes, and even as her mind cautioned her to be wary, her sense told her that the stranger could be trusted. "What is the Covenant and what does it want with me.'

"I like you, you're blunt when you need to be. The Covenant are the bodyguards assigned to your protection. They have been waiting for you to awake for a very long time," came the vague reply.

"My protection? Does that mean you've been watching me, then you must have known about the attack on my landing party on Coruscant. Why didn't you stop that?" Padme asked angrily.

"It was not our place to intervene, time is a delicate thing to balance the scales of space on, we couldn't come to your assistance until you had been prepared for us," was the calm reply. "You are tired and you are confused, I understand that. So I will explain this as quickly as I can. The Covenant are the protectors of the Jai, the only masters we serve. But the Jai ofcourse, are few in numbers and far between. When they are awakened to their destiny, it becomes our job to make them face the Trials, just to make sure that they are ready for what is to come. You know who you are, or you wouldn't still be here. You might even be outside, enjoying some private time with the young Jedi, but that's it isn't it? You made the choice to take the harder path and that's why we are here."

"The Trials, like the ones Jedi Padawans have to go through?"

"No, nothing like that. Though the Force may flow through your blood, you are nothing like the Jedi, but you already know that as well. The Trials I speak of are those of fate or as we call them, Trial By Fire. You must go through the Crucible of Destiny and come out on the other side stronger than when you went in. That is what the Covenant does."

"Why do I have the feeling there's more to it than that."

"You're right, there is. The Jai are the Chosen and must always be beyond reproach, the Trials are not that simple, very dangerous and very difficult. The rituals are not to be taken lightly. If you believe that you can't survive them, you can back out at this time. Otherwise, we continue, with the warning ofcourse that if you don't survive the Trials, well, survive being the key word, you die."

"That's comforting, but I've already chosen my path, death might just be it."

"I knew you would, no potential has ever shirked from the Trials and you'll be happy to know that not one has died."

"Oh," replied Padme, relaxing her stance a little and turning to follow the acolyte with her eyes.

"Ofcourse, there have only been a couple of Jai since the beginning, so low rate of failure that way."

**_

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When there are no more answers and the questions are too many, when darkness rises from hidden crevices and rocks weather with time; the sands will rise, form he who shall bring Balance. The Fire shall purge the darkness and raise the winds of change. The Chosen One shall bring unity where there is discord, peace from chaos, and there shall be none to defy his will. –The Mystical Scrolls of the Ancients, recovered from Osuss

Its strange how the Force works, always striving for balance even when there is none to be had. The gem had been created by the being now regarded in history as the Mother, in her was the concentrated blood of her ancestors and through her blood lines came the first sign of a single life-form that played the most pivotal role in the Galaxy, midi-chlorians. She did not know of them, how could she, but she knew of her surroundings, knew of the little changes and the tremendous ones, knew of the things yet to be and those that had come to pass. She knew of many things, but she knew many others not at all. Because of her the blood spread farther than ever imagined, reaching out across the immensities to the stars and extending towards the future.

From the Mother came the first realization of the presence of the Force and its first Vergence, an accident that only took place four times. The number is important on its own, all the elements that make the Force what it is, water, wind, fire and earth, the basic ingredients for all life forms.

Her name is unknown but many know what she stood for, the surging life of the earth, the purity of growth and that is how she is remembered in history, a tree that bore the purest fruits and gave the galaxy its first Jai.

Vima Sunrider is known as a Jedi but the Force knew her as the wind of change that brought a new layer to life and resurrected a long forgotten whisper of the past, the Jai.

In the times ahead when much evil and cruelty would come to pass, a soldier rose from the ashes of ruin to bring about a new order that purged all ancient ones of their sins, the fire that would forever burn in the heart of one Anakin Skywalker, the Force's own progeny, would avenge all crimes and bring eternal peace.

The last element, the soothing water, the birth of life, the healer of all pain never knew her true worth nor her ancestry or even the import of her bloodline until fate sought to intervene and direct her on a path none before had trod and none after would dare to follow. She was the wild variable, the only unknown in a foreseeable future, she came into play only at that pivotal point on which rested the fate of the Force itself, and for this purpose alone did she know of her place in the Galaxy. The nexus would recede into her memories; become just a dull ache and an idle exploration into the other paths that her life could have taken. That one element that made the Force what it was; was the only unknown in the great cradle of life and the only one with the power to be the ultimate culmination of the Force, was a Jai known as Padme Naberrie Amidala.

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**Author's Note**

Sorry about the really long wait but this story is in my head, it just won't come out!


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